Bárbara's Chronicals on Lousy Videos & Lousy Songs

[Bárbara]

28.11.06
After hours of watching MTV2, I decided something like this should be done. So many bad shit is going on on the... music world, or the Music Television 2 actually, that I thought "I should brag to the world how bad this shit is". Just I don't know the world, and we aint doing media in Portuguese this year, so I decided to do my Chronicals on Lousy Videos and Lousy Songs here, where I'm like... well where I can be read, even if it's by like 2 people. Now, why did I put a date up there? Becaaause, this will be like, a bulletin. Which means I will be doing some... weekly updating, or maybe not that.. periodical, but I'll be updating. Yes. So, today's chosen ones are:

The Killers - Bones
Stupid song. Stupid video. I always hated The Killers, tbh, but seriously. I never thought they could get any worse.
1. What the fuck is up with Brandon Flowers' look?
2. Does anyone remember the video for Chemical Brothers' Hey boy, hey girl? Well. The Killers do. (This was actually one of my fave videos YEARS ago)

Killswitch Engage - My Curse
Now this just sucks. I have no words to describe it.
Well maybe I actually do. Their vocalist makes me giggle. He just looks so fucking funny, and somewhat ridiculous. And I quite can't tell if he's black, or just badly shaded.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Snow (Hey Oh)
Well this ain't bad. Seriously, it ain't. Or it wouldn't be, if it didn't sound the freakin' same as other 2047034125 RHCP songs. I like RHCP, really. Just it always sounds the same, and it makes me go heeh. Kudos cus the other day on MTV2 they misspelled it and said "hey ho".

Enter Shikari - Sorry You're Not A Winner
Some say "I saved the best for last". Well in this case, I saved the worst for last. Well what can I say. First of all, Shikari sounds like an alliteration for Shakira. And let's face it, Shakira is great compared to this. Then they sound like a bunch of weirdos screaming to club tunes. Then their drummer looks gross. And has a weird unflattering t-shirt that makes him look even more gross. If this was a countdown of worst videos/songs... Babyy, sorry but you'd be a winner!!

[Ikkerina]

Omgh The Killers do suck! (At least that song zucks) You were right all aloooong!!

That second thing is just eww.

AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THOSE DAMN RED HOT CHILLI FUCKERS! THEY ZUCK

And gaaawd the last ones are shit as well. Like, SHIT.

[Bárbara]

Stuff you can expect in the next updates:

"The Nu-Metal Years"
- static-x - black and white
- system of a down - chop suey; byob
- papa roach - between angels and insects
- limp bizkit - nookie

stuff-I-haven't-seen-on-mtv2
- justin timberlake feat t.i. - let me talk to you/my love
- christina aguilera feat p. diddy - tell me
- beyonce - irreplaceable
- lily alen - ldn

others
- AFI - love like winter
- eagles of death metal - I want you so hard (boy's bad news)
- jane's addiction - been caught stealing
- atreyu - the theft
- muse - knights of cydonia
- oasis - acquiesce
- editors - munich
- pull tiger tail - mr 100 percent
- jack penate - second, minute or hour

[Ikkerina]

Omg the non MTV2 shit is such shit. (Can't say I know about any of the other songs. Heh.)

[bliss]

heeyyy ... i love both the knights of cydonia song & vid ... soo ..

[Bárbara]

and agnes loves justin timberlake and his song, and I adore atreyu and every single one of their songs, and they're in the list too :]

[bliss]

oh i see ..
nice list btw ;D

[Bárbara]

Stay tuned, new Chronicals this tuesday!!

[Ikkerina]

With piccies??

[Bárbara]

Still images from the videos, yes

[Ikkerina]

Yayz

[Bárbara]

04.12.06

Hell, I couldn't wait 'till tomorrow to get this done. First of all, I gotta tell you guys, the day after I first did my chronicals, I was watching MTV2, and first they put on TBS, then LP, then some other stuff I liked, and I was like "HELL, I'll never be able to do my Chronicals again!! What will my loyal fans think?!", and then... Then. Then a themed thing started on MTV2. It was named "The Nu-Metal Years", and I almost screamed in joy. However, that's not today's material. Today you'll have stuff I haven't seen on MTV2, but MTV Portugal. Have the whole new technique in my Chronicals, STILL IMAGES OF THE VIDEOS!! Yeah. Not much of a new technique.

Lily Allen - LDN
The first thing to notice in this video is Lily's hoops. Hoops are usually chavvy to the max. Hers, however, are just plain tacky. Second thing is, what a nag she is to them men on that Crade Store, who are simply ignoring her.
Then, the song starts, and you can see her full-body and how overdressed she is. One thing I really enjoy is how un-subliminally the screen focuses on her nikes, which are, of course, a perfect match on her fancy dress. What intrigues me more about this video is how Lily walks around, and on her front, everything's pretty and colourful; as she passes, however, all gets gray and gross. Almost as she leaves a path of destruction. Our friend Lily also jumps over some random stuff, like candy or coins. When she jumps over the coins, it turns into poop. In the video, you can even see STINK MARKS, but not on stupid quality-stealer youtube, which is just a shame.

christina aguilera feat p. diddy - tell me
There's not much to say about this. Only gotta note the inconsistencies in the wind directions, which you can see in Christina's hair mostly (Proof #1 Proof #2) and the horrid make-up Christina has in the second half (I think) of the video. Bonus shot, cus I hadn't pictured p. diddy.

Beyonce - Irreplaceable
Apparently man ditched her. I wonder why... too much nail doing, too less sex? That's what I get from the video anyways. One thing that gets me thinking is, when her... dawg goes to the car, there's like, another guy in there. So I just guess her man got out of the closet. Speaking of closet, Beyoncé only seems pissed about dudie's jacket. The whole must-see in this video is, imo, when she goes loco at 3:11. As r&b ladiez in underwear appear to sell a lot, also have this oh-so flattering shot, and was I the only one to notice that first she had those curling thingies in her hair, and then her hair got straight.
My major note about this video is, however, the part where Beyoncé sings "to the left, to the left". Now, I'm pretty sure this brang a lot of moral issues while shooting the video, but... she points to her left. The viewer's right. Hence the whole question, should she remain faithful to her left/right? I don't find myself adequate to answer that question, still, for me, all the visual effect got lost in there.

justin timberlake feat t.i. - let me talk to you/my love
*jumps on agnes for forgiveness*
I think I'll comment this one with still images only, so it'll be quite brief.
Two sexy lads pointing at you, while they say "my love - hey".
Girl rubs her ass on Justin's.
Our two sexy lads do some "wank" movement at 1:30. As seducing as it could ever get!!
I gotta confess, when he started singing at 1:50, and those cellos came out of nowhere, I kinda hoped one would hit him in the head.
Quite scary moment when, at 2:42, some female hand comes out of nowhere to feel Justin's chest.
Woman crawls at Justin's feet. Kinda.
And for some reason, this is just weird.
And this is just plain funny.
I still don't find this video womanizing, no.
Yup. Every woman's dream is to get her thights pulled out.
It's actually utterly amusing how our mate here is so indifferent to the lady.

And this is all for today, STAY TUNED!!!

[Ikkerina]

barbara said:

What intrigues me more about this video is how Lily walks around, and on her front, everything's pretty and colourful; as she passes, however, all gets gray and gross. Almost as she leaves a path of destruction.

HAHAHAHAHAHA maaaaan

barbara said:

christina aguilera feat p. diddy - tell me
There's not much to say about this. Only gotta note the inconsistencies in the wind directions, which you can see in Christina's hair mostly (Proof #1 Proof #2) and the horrid make-up Christina has in the second half (I think) of the video. Bonus shot, cus I hadn't pictured p. diddy.

Aint he Diddy now btw?
Christina looks shitty in the second half but I have to say she looks great in the first half. Way better than that fake Marylin Monroe kinda shit. Her outfit's kewl. (Except for the tacky necklace.)
What's with the "do that shit" btw? That's like "to poop" literally translated from Dutch.

barbara said:

Beyonce - Irreplaceable
[...] Speaking of closet, Beyoncé only seems pissed about dudie's jacket. The whole must-see in this video is, imo, when she goes loco at 3:11. As r&b ladiez in underwear appear to sell a lot, also have this oh-so flattering shot, and was I the only one to notice that first she had those curling thingies in her hair, and then her hair got straight.

HAHAHAHA!!

Btw the other dude was a taxi driver ;D
I love the fact she needs giant push ups.

barbara said:

Woman crawls at Justin's feet. Kinda.

Oh man and he looks BORED!!




Amusing man

[Bárbara]

Oh yes, Christina seriously looks better than she did when she wanted to be all MM. DO THAT SHIIIIT. I should start commenting on the lyrics a bit more. Or anything.
Plus, wasn't he Daddy before? And I saw it as P. Diddy in MTVMusic.

Daamn, a taxi driver? I really thought he had gone gay after doing her..

And I think Timberman's like, deeply focused on her crawling

[Ikkerina]

In the very beginning it was Puff Daddy then he went to P Diddy and I think he went to Diddy and he might be P Diddy again now.

I don't like him.